((Sorry about that.))

The same post just showed up in your feed like eight times because I was having some technical difficulties over here. Mea culpa!

Some words. Many not mine.

I've gone long silent, I know. I keep coming here and waiting for the desire to write--and when that fails, waiting for words, any words, but the violation of what I thought was a safe space stays with me.

So, in lieu of words of my own, here are some of Emma Bolden's:

What Dylan’s writing goes far beyond that: he’s showing us his mind, and how his mind became his mind. He’s showing us how to live a life of the mind, how the most important thing may not be what we produce, but why we produce it: what we believe and know and think and feel inside.

Here she is talking about Bob Dylan's memoir, Chronicles, Volume I, in specific, but also just his process of writing/creating, in general. YES, I thought as I read what she wrote, that's it exactly. Not for everyone, certainly, but for some of us.

It is a rendering of process that I want to remember. When I fret about rejections. When I fret about tough critics, anonymous or not. And every single time I sit down to write.

Putting the emphasis and attention back where it belongs.

I deleted the other posts. They didn't belong here, just as that Anonymous doesn't belong here.

These are the virtual hugs I received today. LOVE to you all. You help me remember why I write and how lucky I am to be surrounded by generous, positive people.

Suzanne wrote: You're right. This is your space, your party. And most of us come here to listen to you, engage with you, learn and connect. Someone shows up drunk and violent? Yeah, listening and connecting isn't really their m.o. Administrate them out. You can't change their minds (or, in the case of this commenter, their livers? Their spleens? I mean, what are they using to write?). As painful as it is, I'm happy you shared it with us. So you can get back to the business of feeling good about writing.

LVH wrote: Anonymous, YOU ARE VOTED OFF THE ISLAND! Go pick on someone your own size. I hereby revoke your rights to use the interwebs and rescind your invitations to all parties EVERYWHERE! By royal decree of the von Hottness, you are fired from life.

A DIFFERENT anonymous wrote: I LOVE YOU! (sent from an anonymous admirer)

Lynn wrote: Dear Anonymous,

From what I can tell by reading this post and Mayumi's response to you, I can't say I disagree with her. You should stand up behind your words instead of hiding behind them.

Whether you are a male or female, she is right you probably haven't gone through with a miscarriage or if you have then there a some deep feelings that you have yet to uncover and solve. Taking it out on other people isn't healthy and in a way what does that say about you?

Mayumi is also right about finding some place else to write your unwelcome comment/s on. There is a whole world of the internet out there, that people just like you write on people's blogs every day. My suggestion would be to pick another one. One that wouldn't mind having you disruptive comment on it.

Writing is a huge tool for many people so if Mayumi wants to blog about her miscarriage or any problems or accomplishments in her life then she can because its her blog. And in response to "getting therapy" she is also right the world of therapy is HUGE. There are many types that people practice today, writing included.

If you don't believe me then you should ask any person who is a writer or even a therapist. In fact one of then main points that therapist recommend to a person who can't or won't talk or express their feelings is to write about it.

Jeanne wrote: Anonymous is a fool with a nasty mouth. Mayumi, I can speak from personal experience about the grief of miscarriage. I had one miscarriage and two children die in infancy from prematurity brought on by pregnancy complications. I helped facilitate a grief support group for neonatal loss (including miscarriage) for four years. The death of a child (and a miscarriage is a death of a child) at any age is wrenching--both a physical and an emotional loss. Only cowards make anonymous snide comments on public blogs. If this creep shows up again, delete him/her. The jerk isn't worth your time.

It's not all writing and depressing shit about fertility here ... LOOK! sometimes there are PUPPIES!