Sunday, November 30, 2008

So says the Barry:

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Top 6 reasons to leap off the end of the diving board, through the portal to 'The Land of No Return' and into the deep end, where you can no longer pretend to be able to touch the floor, but where life, though messier and less able to control, is totally real: (6) The worries of waiting and anticipating are far more crippling than actually doing the thing you fear to get started. (5) All the familiar doldrum traps on this 'safe' side of the portal will remain mind-numbingly exactly the same as they've been until you cross the threshold. (4) The increasing social pressures from friends, colleagues or like-minded individuals are beginning to become too much to resist. (3) Full disclosure, taking things to the logical extreme, not settling until it's all said and done, and other such 'Land of No Return' strategies will ultimately align you with your highest integrity. (2) Contrary to your reputation as slower than molasses in January, your patience with sitting on your hands has definitely worn very thin. (1) You can't avoid it forever. If you don't willingly step toward it, it will eventually find you—one way or the other.
So says the me: I like it. I have no idea what he's talking about, but boy does my future sound full of promise, right?

So says Free Will:
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): A Serbian beekeeper shares his deep religious fervor with the insects he spends so much time with. Slobodan Jeftic builds beehives shaped like churches because he believes bees have souls, too. I urge you to draw inspiration from his example, Taurus. Get together with your favorite animals for a rowdy prayer session. Bark or purr or neigh or chirp together. Run around with holy abandon, expressing primal gratitude for the vitality you've been granted. If you're not currently in an intimate relationship with special animals, then take this as an opportunity to elevate and celebrate the consciousness of your own inner creature.

So says the me: Umm, okay, go buckwild? Right, okay, check ...

just after I get these December 2008 AA page proofs, due December 1, put to bed. And my Sarah Lawrence magazine classnotes, due December 5. And my VCFA end of the semester materials, evals and synopses and bibliographies and such, due December 15. And the March 2009 AA redlines, due December 24. And the VCFA workshop materials, due December 27. And . . .

Do lobsters have ears?

So, I ended up staying in, proofreading, on Thanksgiving. I know, sad. But I gave myself a treat: at about 1 am I called it quits and then read about 100 pp. of the memoir of my VCFA advisor, Rigoberto Gonzalez (Butterfly Boy). I am such a dork . . . the highlight of my Thanksgiving was to stop reading anthropology to read a memoir. But let me just say: the memoir of a sassy, gay Mexican American was WAY more juicy than anthropology ever is.

And last night Dave and I took ourselves out for a nice dinner to make up for the fact that we were both working on Thanksgiving. We tried in vain to find a Thanksgivingy type meal, but ended up at Morton's Steakhouse, a branch of which just opened near us in Brooklyn. It's a chain steakhouse, but hey, no judgment here, because you know they make chains because the original did so well. I think there were more people working than dining there last night, but the food was undeniably good. Also, the service is hilarious. The servers actually wheel out a cart and, like, PERFORM the menu before handing you the actual menu. Seriously, it was HILARIOUS. On the cart was one tray of all cuts of meat, one tray of all kinds of seafood, one tray with a poor live lobster, and another tray with a tomato, onion, broccoli bunch, and asparagus bunch on it. Our server had to memorize the entire menu and used the props I guess to remind himself of parts of the menu. As in, he says, "We can do a tomato mozzarella salad," and picks up the tomato to show us it, "and we can even put a little red onion on top," and I kid you not he picked up the onion and held it in the air on top ofthe tomato. I had to stifle my snort of laughter. And when he picked up the lobster and demonstrated with his hand how the poor guy would be sliced in half, I wanted to cover the lobster's ears. Do lobsters have ears? Well, you know what I mean.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

At the close of my first semester of graduate study.

Earlier today, I finished preparing my final VCFA semester 1 packet for Rigoberto González, my advisor. And I'm feeling rather sad about it. From the moment I met RG on the shuttle from the Burlington airport to campus, I genuinely liked the man. This affection for him came--over the course of the residency--to be paired with a healthy dose of intimidation as I learned rumors of what a hard-ass advisor he was and when I heard him read his own fantastic work. When I was given him as an advisor (he was my #1 choice), I was both elated and terrified that I wouldn't be up to the task at hand, the latter feeling of which was hardly alleviated by his warning that it was not his job to be holding our hands in the semester ahead.

I'm not going to lie, those first couple packet responses were hard. I read his responses to my work silently and at times wounded; then, when Dave came home from work, I'd read them again, aloud, and argue with every point therein. Then I'd go out with my VCFA classmates, Caitlin and Suzanne, and drink copious amounts of wine. It was only after the third or fourth reading (and that night of drinking!) of letters 1 and 2 that I began to need less the hand holding and more the honest opinions of a very smart man. By packets 3 and 4, I was looking forward to receiving his feedback in my e-mail and using the monthly rite of drinking for celebratory causes and girl gossip, rather than emotional succor.

I feel I've come full circle. That I'm back to unadultered and unfettered affection. While not holding my hand, RG still managed to support and encourage--but also give particular direction to--my writing. No one, neither former professors nor peers, has ever been as specifically constructive about both the strengths and weaknesses of my craft.

And let's just go ahead and say it: no other writing professor has been a non-white, multi-ethnic, working-class person like myself, with the exception of my beloved senior-year Third World Feminist Literature professor, Kasturi Ray, who worked with me on some of my fiction as one component of my final, year-long conference paper on the politics of writing in dialects. I appreciated someone pulling up to the dining table of my work, fork and knife in hand, fully intending to use them; it was quite a difference from some of the workshop experiences I've had in which my work was so foreign to the group that they'd offer quick soundbites about it being exotic, and I'd want to pick up that aforementioned knife and stab myself with it . . . in the eyeball.

RG never hesitated, he went right for the race questions. One might say he was a little obsessed with how race functioned (or, as the case may be, failed to function) in my work. But he wasn't seeing something that wasn't there, he was seeing something I was putting into my work that I then was not fully delving into. In one particular story, he even suggested stripping out the racial/cultural element because it didn't best serve the story. In another story, he intensely disliked the main character because he didn't find her to be sympathetic based on the discrepancy between her race and her worldview.

I may not have always agreed with him 100%, but I can say this:
1. He wasn't looking for me to bow at the altar of his correctness. He was looking to me to develop more fully my reasons for the decisions I make while writing.

and

2. He always, always, always made me think.

I really have been so lucky to borrow his eyes this whole semester.

Quote of the day: Worrying about Africa.

"There is a distressing but not uncommon condition of presidents and other world leaders known as Worrying About Africa. It is usually picked up overseas at a summit meeting on world poverty or disease, and symptoms include painful twinges of guilt over the discrepancy between First and Third World wealth, uncomfortable feelings somewhere below the stomach that perhaps unfettered capitalism is not the benevolent force of good we are constantly assured it is, and frequent attacks of calling for Something to Be Done. The best remedy is invariably a stiff dose of domestic crisis."

--A Guide to the Birds of East Africa, by Nicholas Drayson, pp. 85

Friday, November 28, 2008

Too cute for words.

Except for these words: How the heck did this not win top place?! See all the contenders via the APSCA's Best-Dressed Dogs of 2008.
Here's another creative costume--which did win!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Unexpected sweetness: Dave Liebermann's Chocolate Guinness cupcakes.


They were totally delicious, though the Guinness flavor was more subtle than I would have hoped. Here is the full recipe.

Live Ben Carrollness.


I stole this image off Wife's blog, because she, D., and I were all there but somehow she was the only one with the presence of mind to take a picture. Possibly because while Caffe Vivaldi in the West Village is charming, and I had a crush on the gorgeous French accent of our waitress, DO NOT EVER MAKE THE MISTAKE OF SITTING IN FRONT OF THAT PICTURESQUE FIREPLACE. Dude. Fireplaces? They are hot. Very, very hot.

When Dave and I showed up that night, just after Ben started his set, the house was already packed, and so we just went to the first open seats we could see. The other option was to sit, like, rightinfrontofBen'sface, which is not my style, so we took the fireplace seats, thinking it'd be cozy. Well. Cozy might not have been the right word: Dave and I had to switch seats halfway through the set to finish the rotisserie. Wife showed up a little later and perched next to me and it was so nice to share glasses of wine and chilled-out Benness with my spouses.

Anyway, despite downing about six glasses of water in an hour and a half long set, Ben, as always, was a wonderful performer, and we all know that that voice melts me to butter. I hope his next CD features the songs "Precious, Precious," "Witness," and the sugar-sweet-candy-girl song. Yeah!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

"Alone Together?"

Check out the fascinating article in this week's New York magazine in which writer Jennifer Senior argues that "urban alientation is largely a myth." The article also touches upon that rather sticky subject of how being single versus being married touches other areas of one's life, such as health, happiness, emotional stability, and so forth.

I will totally have Nahe doing this by, oh, 2009, fer sure.

Christmas list.

Hi there. I'm your good friend, your very very good friend, your best friend in fact. I'm also your favorite blogger. Your very very favoritest blogger. And hey look at that! It's almost Christmas!!

HINT, HINT: I want this "Pride of Australia" ring from Sundance so bad it hurts.


Also? This "Twists and Turns Turquoise" should also be mine.


And with that, consider the shameless begging post concluded.

Gratuitous cuteness, in lieu of words or constancy.


Here is Nahe in her winter coat, bracing for the thirty-degree weather we've been "enjoying" lately.

I cannot finish out NaBloPoMo with any steadfastness because I just got wholluped upside the head by one grad school and two work deadlines. I give up.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

K9 Advantix may need a better copy editor.

On the product description for Nahe's flea and tick medication, K9 Advantix, the box claims to do the following:

* Repels and kills ticks
* Repels and kills mosquitoes
* Kills 98-100% of fleas within 12 hours
* Repels and prevents blood feeding by biting flies

Now I have to admit I've been wondering how flea and tick medication works. It comes in this weird little capsule or tube, which emits an oily liquid that gets applied between the shoulder blades of your dog, under the fur, right on the skin. It always seems so interesting and mystifying to me that scientists have figured out how to make products that are poisonous to some creatures but not others. How come K9 Advantix kills fleas but is safe enough to spread around on the skin of your beloved dog?

So, reading the last line of the box, I was very gratified to find out that how the scientists do it is each capsule contains little flies that are trained to do the scientists' bidding--in this case, bite back the very fleas/mosquitoes/ticks that are plaguing the dog!

But that made no sense. So I reread the line and realized what you all, no doubt, have already realized: that what they meant was that a certain type of fly--the biting kind--is also, in addition to fleas/ticks/mosquitoes, repelled by use of K9 Advantix.

What was written was technically not wrong but if I was the K9 Advantix copy editor, I would have flagged that last line with the query "meaning a bit unclear. Rewrite to avoid confusion." I might even have suggested they just write in very big and bold letters on the side of the box: "Kills 98-100% of fleas, ticks, mosquitoes, and biting flies within 12 hours!"

I fell off the NaBloPoMo bandwagon yesterday.

It's sad but true.

But oh well. I was totally 100% good about posting last year and I still didn't win anything.

I feel like I let myself down, although I know I'm hardly the first to fall off said bandwagon. For example, I am looking at you, Khaliah.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

A fraction of what my November 4th evening looked like.

This was just the peeps wearing OBAMA shirts at the party at Androooo's. There were many others dressed in more pedestrian clothes, having come straight from work and so forth.

I want to remember this night forever.

Rabid journalling.

Today I began journal number eighty-five, people.

I'm getting back into the rabid journalling. Number eighty-four took me five months to fill--almost unheard of in these parts--but I'm thinking it's because I was here, blogging instead. Ahhh, the return of Public versus Private. I KILLED number eighty-four, though, last night at the MET Opera "Doctor Atomic" via HDTV @ the Union Square movie theater. I was such a dork, sitting there taking notes in the DARK. But that's the kind of operagoer I am--experiential, visceral. I cannot just sit back and passively watch; I am actively and physically moved by art such that I have to write about and process it while it's happening in order to have it be real to me, to be meaningful. I am finding this to be true in more and more areas of my life: books read, films watched, articles perused, etc.

Eighty-fricken-five journals, can you imagine? This is why I am such a clutterbug. Why I have a trunk at my mom's house in Hawaii and another here in our New York storage unit full of ridiculously stuffed notebooks, their innards spilling forth--movie tickets, letters, programs, keepsakes. I am a basketcase of emotionality.

I just got back from a post-packet party with the lovely Suzanne and Caitlin. I've had several glasses of awesome wine from Xicala Wine Bar. If you asked me what I drank, I couldn't say other than it was two bottles of white and one glass of prosecco, and that the menu read like poetry.

P.S. Will try to write more about "Doctor Atomic" when I've got a spare moment this weekend.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The only kind of conversation I have had today.

"Why are you such a bad girl today? Why? Why? Why you want to drive me crazy? Whyy?"

"Oohh-HHHH-hhh. PEANUT butter, Nahe! You love peanut butter!!"

"I know. I know. You need love. You need it all the time. But Mommy has to work. Mommy has to make money to buy your kibble."

Well. It's official. I'm that crazy lady who lives alone with a dog--and occasionally with a husband, when he's not at JFK or en route to or from it.

At least Nahe isn't a cat.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Heart attack city.

Yesterday, Nahe was in the city with me seeing Wife's new apartment and all of a sudden Nahe leapt over one of those basement door thingies on the street and plunged into the basement, hanging by her gentle leader--that is by her head. I don't know why she jumped--there were no dogs, no people around, she just all of a sudden wanted to jump a hurdle. I scrambled to get her out, and she quickly found her footing, but there were a few seconds there where she was hanging in mid-air and I felt very helpless. Once I got her out of the basement, I scooped her up and held her, while Wife and Amanda petted me.

We're okay, but my GOD, dog, what the fuck were you thinking?! Seriously. I was taken back a few years to when Luke's dog Baude jumped off the second floor of a building for, again, no apparent reason. Is life in the city so untenable that you doggies want to fling yourself from high spaces?!

Out of sympathy and misplaced guilt, I spent over an hour shivering in the cold of the Washington Square dog park afterward, with Nahe gleefully romping about. I was miserable, but she could have broken her neck or screwed up her face and I was just so glad she was fine that I wanted to give her everything in my power to give. I even snuck her a handful treats while in the dog park, without giving any to the other dogs. I am a mean dogpark co-mommy.

Pretty womens ... and a handsome john named Dave.

At Wife's Halloween party of yestermonth, Dave and I went as Edward Lewis and Vivianne Ward from Pretty Woman.

My wig did not want to stay on. Evidently I was not meant to be a blonde.

Here I am with host Tits McGee (a.k.a. Wife), after letting my hair come down. Please note the dollar bills stuffed in my bra. You can't tell from the picture, but I also had condoms stuffed in my boots, though hardly the rainbow of variety that Julia Roberts had in the movie. It's all about the accessories, people.

(All pictures from Wife. More possibly to follow once I get mine off my cameras.)

Monday, November 17, 2008

Why write, by John Updike.

"With the waning of everything, with the waning of the sexual drive ... there probably goes a certain lessening of artistic passion. I suppose I feel that in my own work. The world would really be none the worse if I were not to write anymore. But I keep wanting to do it, in part to fill the time. I don't know what you've found, but nothing makes the time pass so much as writing. You look up, and two hours have gone by! ... You know? It's a wonderful antidote to boredom or dullness."

--John Updike, "Updike and the Women," by Emily Nussbaum, New York magazine, October 27, 2008, pp. 63

Waiter, I'd like the bacon, with three sides of bacon ... and perhaps some bacon on top?

Last Thursday, I reported that “I HAVE GOT TO blog about our dinner last night at The General Greene in where else but Fort Greene, because it was transcendent!” In typical Mayumi fashion, this exuberant and urgent need withered in the face of doing the dishes, and walking the dog, and a surprisingly busy weekend.

But. BUT. BUT!! Here I am. Better late than never.

First, let it just be said that I am such a good little consumer, the exact target member of any audience that will willingly fall for your commercial, or your print ad, or even your poster up on the scaffolding on the side of the street. In this case, New York magazine suggested— in their issue about curbing New Yorker’s expensive tastes while still having a life— that instead of partaking in a pricey Peter Luger steak, one might consider dropping into The General Greene (Fort Greene) for a $12 pretty spectacular version instead. New York magazine suggested; Mayumi obeyed.

We started off the meal with a glass of Malbec for D. and a bacon-infused (!!) vodka and maple (salt and sugar on the rim) cocktail called The Salty Pig for me. The Salty Pig: sweet and salty, just like me! I was already excited about the meal to come, because anyone who can figure out how to put the essence but not the greasyness of BACON in my COCKTAIL is a freakin’ genius in my book. I knew I was among my people when not only did 3/4ths of the menu items have bacon in them, SO DID A COCKTAIL. YUM. We began the food portion of the evening with bacon-wrapped maple figs and can I just say, OH.MY.GOD. Why can’t I eat, like, 20 of these EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.OF.MY.LIFE?!?!?!?!

As a precursor to the entrees, we shared one of those variants of the farm-simple style salads I’ve seen all over Brooklyn: iceberg lettuce, bacon, blue cheese. Yes, yes, we get it, you’re simple and blue collar—no arugula here, no sirree, hoo boy! So, that salad? Like I said, simple, but I am not knocking it because why mess with something that works?

But onto the main show … Honestly, ummm, I have never paid all that money for a Peter Luger piece of meat— although it is on my list of things to do before I let myself ever move away from New York again— so I can’t really speak to the difference in quality, but HOT DAMN was that General Greene steak delicious! There was some roasted garlic and fresh Italian parsley up top, and it was cooked medium-rare, its pink middle oozing lovely meaty and buttery juices. We also had the salt-and-pepper shortribs, accompanied by some sort of tomato chutney/sauce, which were good but, well, you know, we’re quite the rib/bbq aficionados and after tasting the best in the country at Reno Ribs we weren’t exactly blown away.

We finished all that off with two dishes of salted caramel gelato and warm-from-the-oven chocolate-chip cookies. And then we waddled home, happy and stuffed. If you have an extra $20 burning a hole in your pocket, you could have just the steak and figs—which honestly were my favorite parts of the meal—and still leave a couple dollars tip. Or you can go the whole hog like we did, and eat plural entrees and several sides and dessert with cocktails and wine and spend much, much more than $20 and still walk out feeling like it was the best use of your money in a looooong time.

Yo. This kid is adorable.

At six years old, David Fishman won best new cupcake concept at Crumbs Bakery and got free cupcakes for two years. At twelve years old, he takes himself out to dinner at fancy restaurants and writes up food reviews. AWESOME.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Ode to the old apartment.

In a few short weeks, Wife will move out of the Greenwich Village apartment into which, in 2004, she, Frank, and I moved, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed with hope for how much being citypeople would change us. It was a tiny space--barely deserving of the designation "three-bedroom"--but it was beloved. We moved in during that space between winter and spring, and to me at least it felt like everything was going to be possible. I was going to meet wildly cosmopolitan people, who were going to be my neighbors, my friends, maybe even my new lover.* I was going to become this person I couldn't even dream of. I was going to become famous, for something good, like writing or something, and my life and I were going to fit into some larger scheme. I was going to become part of that living, breathing entity that is New York city.

I remember visiting the new apartment one evening before I went back to the apartment Wife, Androoo, and I shared in Astoria, Queens, and concocting this incredible fiction in my head about a romance with the as-yet-unseen neighbor with whom we shared a strange, tiny common space--between our bathroom and my bedroom windows and his bedroom window. As it turned out, that neighbor was gay, so that little fiction was dashed. As with so many of the other wild expectations I had for my new city life.

What good came of the city? I emerged from what I hope was the messiest part of my entire life, wherein I was constantly (a) drunk, (b) dramatic, or (c) both of the above, at the same time. Which wasn't pretty. We were Frank, La, and May, and later we were also SmallPaul and Seiko. We marched into that tiny space and made it ours by painting it glossy red, rich lavender, dolphiny blue-grey, and ripe mango. It looked like a five-year-old with the 96 box of crayons had a seizure in there. We lived on loftbeds, five feet in the air; when we woke in the morning, it was to our neighbor's boots, clickclacking on the hard wood floors above our heads. The apartment saw the collective Us through some crazy times: we got engaged, left a husband, entangled with some bad men, moved to Canada, moved to California, had a seance/voodoo ceremony, didn't have a baby, got a job, lost a job, had a rabbit, walked a marathon, cured breast cancer, and spent far too much money at The Dove Parlour. We ate a lot of pasta, because we lived upstairs from one Italian restaurant and two others were within a block.

I think back on all of that and don't want to repeat it but am glad for it getting me to where I am today. I am more me than I have ever been before. And it took every single misstep along the way to become the now me, which I guess makes them less missteps than plain ole regular steps.

I am BEYOND THRILLED for Wife that she is finally taking this huge step, too: getting her own place, moving beyond dealing with roommates, no matter how delightful they are. She deserves to have her own space in the world, in which no one will be owing her money, borrowing her shit, or drinking the champagne she was saving for herself. In which she can stock the fridge with leftovers and the sink with empty wine glasses and no one will nag her to do the dishes. In which she can sprawl messily to her heart's content, plays and grant applications and lipstick and pretty, glittery underwear landing wherever they please.

In fact, I am so BEYOND THRILLED, in fact, that I am going to see the new place tomorrow afternoon with a bunch of her friends, to toast her new chapter of New York living. I want to be there when she's trying to sort and pack and when she's trying to diagram out her new space (NY apartment dwelling is like living IN a 10,000-piece jigsaw puzzle). I want to be there as she decides whether to splash her hopes for her new life brightly on the walls or if she leaves them pale and full of possibility.

But I am just a little bit sad as well. If for nothing else, for the memories, the best part of which was living in such harmony with her. Hetero, licensed, legal marriage with David is great, but let's not forget why I'm such an excellent wife now . . . it's because I was practicing on Laura von Holt from 2003 on.

Also? I will miss this hallway.

---

* At that time, Dave and I were taking a "break," mostly because I was pissed that he had moved back to Los Angeles.

LOVE.

(Photo by Dave.)

Best use of a Barack mask, ever.

Sunday vignettes.

One. You know you love your dog when it feels like 42 degrees out, with gusty winds of 20 mph, and you bundle yourself up, and her, and still take her to Hillside, because you know she'll love it and because you know, as she does not, that the long stretch of winter is coming and with it the end to the carefree days of dogparking.

Two. You are walking your dog home down Willow Street. It is blustery and the street has not been swept and there are deep drifts of leaves, through which your dog plunges mightily and with great cheer. You come up on two things at once: another fellow walking his dog and four people doing some sort of photo shoot. It's a couple posing, very engagement-style, with the fall leaves and the view of Manhattan off to the left; the other two people are the photographer and the person to direct traffic around the shot. So, okay. Look. It's cold and windy and you're mightily distracted by the barking and play-lunging your dog is doing in the direction of the other dog, but you swear that the man of the couple is Mr. Big/Chris Noth. Everyone is staring at you and your play-rabid dog while you attempt to cross the street. You have very quick fantasies of actually meeting Chris Noth, then realize your fantasies wouldn't really be that fun in real life, because you could only meet the actor, not the character. You are disappointed. But you decide to take one last look at the scene--the leaves, the cold, the posing couple--try to imagine the shot that will come out of the scene you just walked by. Yes, you turn for another glimpse, and when you turn back facing forward, you walk smack into a pole. This really happens to you.

Three. You are almost home, almostalmost. You are walking past Pierrepont, your dog trying stubbornly to eat any scrap of anything on the street and you trying stubbornly not to let her. All of a sudden, past you runs a beautiful faun-and-white colored pit mix. She has an ear-to-ear grin, and this sort of gorgeous, loping, fast yet carefree gallop to her. What is wrong with this scene is that she is (a) not attached to a leash, (b) not followed closely by an owner, (c) obviously, not at a dog park with fences, and (d) not apparently too concerned with traffic. You are struck dumb. You want to stop her, but she is gone, she is already two blocks away. You think of what you could have done: tried to lure her with hot dogs, tried to grab her collar, something. You worry how far she will get with that gorgeous loping run and how fast she will get there. You know that if your dog ever got loose, you'd lose her just as quick and you'd hope that passersby would think faster on their feet, grab her, hold her, cage that which is too carefree.

I swear, Iolanians are everywhere.

Me, on my last night: How is it you go into some random bar on Avenue C and end up at an Iolani freakin' reunion?!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Hmmm. What the heck is that all about?!

I dreamed I was in a little piece of shit car with my Auntie Donna K. We were at home, and driving towards Manoa Falls. Only Manoa Falls in dreamland looked nothing like Manoa Falls in real life. There was this huge chasm, all lushly green and verdant, over which a thin, architecturally improbably bridge arced gracefully. We were driving on said improbable bridge. Once we got to the other side, the path to the falls was a 90-degree climb, with a banyan tree tunnel: the road was flanked by tree after tree after tree, all thickly planted together, so that above was a tightly knit canopy and below the roots, too, were tanged, so tangled that you could no longer tell which roots belonged to which tree. The roots formed huge steps--and for that matter steppes--and on top of everything it had rained recently, heavily, and in the air more mist, in that way that Manoa always feels a little damp.

I was a little doubtful that Auntie's car was going to make it. I said, "Auntie, this car isn't 4-wheel-drive, are you sure you can make it?"

She was utterly unconcerned and said gaily that she did it all the time. And hit the gas.

Then I woke.

---
* I'm fairly certain the whole Manoa Falls part came from reading a recent e-mail from my friend Jenjen about her trip home, wherein she hiked to Manoa Falls. Because I'm easily led like that.

Friday, November 14, 2008

After a long hard day . . .

What you want is a present from your husband.

And this is what you get, in black and grey:




Awesome.

---

* Get your own here (the print, not the husband).

Quote of the day: Redefining marriage.

Keith Olbermann: I keep hearing this term, redefining marriage. If this country hadn’t redefined marriage, Black people still couldn’t marry White people. Sixteen states had laws on the books that made that illegal in 1967. 1967. The parents of the President Elect of the United States could not have married in nearly one-third of the states of the country their son grew up to lead.

If that doesn't fucking say it plain as day, what the hell will.

If you voted for Proposition 8.

Keith Olbermann: If you voted for this proposition, or you support those who did, or the sentiment they expressed, I have some questions because truly I do not understand why does this matter to you?

Watch the whole thing, here:

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Dispatches from the doggy date.

Mayumi: They're so good for each other! Nano socializes Nahe, and Nahe makes Nano grow a pair.

Mayumi: Man, she loves him so much she looks like she wants to climb into his skin.

Krissa: And I understand that! It’s just that, well, KIDS, you’re a little young for that.

'Tis the season . . .

for eggnog-laced Trader Joe's Holiday Blend (YUMM) and dogs singing carols. Clearly.



This is the dog sibling we want to give Nahe in a few years when we have more money and more space: a shiba inu. I would also really like my dog to sing, because it's f-ing cute.

I'm in a fabulous mood this morning! Might be the coffee or the fact that the grocery stores are finally carrying eggnog, who knows. Might be the adorable dog singing carols, or the fact that I woke up to Nahe spooning me (yes, Dave and I have lost the bed battle). Might even be that I am filled with joy for Nahe who doesn't even know that she's going to see her boyfriend today!

I can promise you this, though: my home WILL constantly contain a carton of eggnog from now till that sad moment in January when they clear it off the shelves. I LOVE EGG NOGG, although specifically so in my coffee.

We're headed to Sunset Park today for more writing with Krissa while Nahe tumbles with Nano. The love continues to grow. Two weeks ago, Nano lovingly gave Nahe a single hump, which earned him a screech of "OFF!!!" from Krissa, who found it gross. And last week, Nahe wrapped her little paws around his waist and gave him a few humps back, which earned her nothing worse than Krissa's and my hysterical laughter. That's my girl, bending gender expectations and pushing boundaries. Awww.

Later, I HAVE GOT TO blog about our dinner last night at The General Greene in where else but Fort Greene, because it was transcendent!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

How far we have to go: On Prop 8 and et cetera.

I would like to begin this entry with the following disclaimer: I tried really, really hard not to write about this, to just let it go, but alas, here we are.

Before we even go on, though: I've said before, and I'll say it again: If "you hate dogs, love, or gay people . . . buddy, are you on the wrong blog, and also, what is wrong with you?!"

Recently I began loosely following the blog of one of my former classmates. I won't link to it here, because I don't want to shame him into what I see as proper behavior and because I'm trying hard to apply lessons learned about Internet brawling--that is, don't start something you can't stand dealing with for months to follow, in front of the entire online world.

In a recent entry on Halloween, this fellow mentioned hitching a ride to his car after drunken festivities. He assumed the driver was a lady. Upon entering into conversation with the driver, though, he found out she had partied the night away at Hulas. He then writes the following:
"For those of you who don't know, Hula's is a h*m*s*x*a*l bar in Waikiki. I have NO problem with that, but when it's 4am and you're alone in a car with a stranger who you thought was a female but is actually not, you HAVE to be a little worried.****"

I see that the writer is trying to play it cool. I note that his four asterisks lead the reader to the following footnoted disclaimer: "DISCLAIMER: I have NO problem with he/she people. They are all equal in my eyes." But his words left me with puzzling questions and deeply troubled feelings.

1. Why does partying at Hula's immediately make a presumed female now a crossdressing and/or transgendered person?

2. Why do you have to be worried if you are alone in a car with a crossdressing or transgendered person at 4am or otherwise?

Now might be the time to mention that this very heterosexual fellow was dressed as a luchador, complete with tights, little underwear, mask, and cape. So it could also be that he was feeling particularly vulnerable: scanty clothing involving tights might advertise his batting for the incorrect team, or something, I don't know.

But to take up point one above: Why is the driver who partied at Hula's not allowed to still be a lady who maybe just wanted to party at a bar where she wouldn't get bothered by heavyhitting hetero men? I know I've spent many a fine evening at the gay bars back home.

And now to take up point two above: Why does being gay/crossdressing/transgendered instantly mean you are an aggressive animal who picks sexual partners based on gender alone? Because you are not heterosexual, instantly this means you (a) are attracted to everyone of the same sex, (b) utterly lack in impulse control when attracted to a person, and (c) deserve a person's suspicion that you are capable of dark and deviant deeds at 4am and otherwise. WTF!

I appreciate very much this writer's attempts to be "PC" in his acceptance of "nonheteronormativity." (A term that, as you might be able to guess, pisses me off.) I appreciate, too, that not everyone has graduated from four years of Sarah Lawrence and lived in the liberal bastions of New York and San Francisco for most of their adult lives. I appreciate these things, and yet my heart is still heavy.

And as much as this poor fellow is the one that set me off down this tangential rant, I do not particularly judge or direct these feelings towards him. It's just that, well, some of the people I love most in this world would be categorized (by the assholes who like to categorize) as "nonheteronormative." I love me my gay and my transgendered friends, and yet I am utterly lacking in understanding about how this could be the most important factor about them as people: their "nonheteronormativity." That is, who they would like to be making out with in a dark corner. I don't look at my friends and think, first, "you big gay!" or "whatta tranny you are!" any more than this fellow probably looks at his friends and thinks, EACH time he sees them, "dude, you TOTALLY like chicks" or "damn, woman, you are a maneater!"

I am not angry as much as disappointed. Disappointed in how far we have to go. And nowhere has this point been more poignantly reinforced than in the passing of Proposition 8. FUCK Prop 8, man, FUCK IT.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Also and p.s.?

I really hope Wife gets the permission of the other passer-outers and posts her renditions of all the passing out.

How do you pass out? What it says about your character.

In talking with Wife about her brandspanking new rental, into which she will ecstatically move at the end of this month after too many years of roommates who, let's face it, were not me, we (and by we, I mean a plural beyond just Wife and I) got to talking about passing out on Wife's couch in her new apartment, after a night of overindulgence. Wife wrote about how a certain friend would pass out on her new couch. Then, in passing, mentioned how a different friend would do it.

And it got me to thinking--that is, I suppose I couldn't help but wonder--how do I pass out? How do our other friends pass out?? And what can you tell about a person by the way he or she handles the consequences of overindulging?

As for Wife? I told her this is how she would do it:

you would do it by first strip-teasing your way down the long red hallway, leaving bits of your outfit like so many gingerbread crumbs. you would probably get yourself a tall glass of water and then forget it somewhere in the house and end up getting another. you would not throw up. you would get into bed almost naked, except for a ridiculous pair of panties, featuring rhinestones or glitter and definitely pink or red. It would be ruffles or a thong. you'd drunk text or drunk blog or drunk e-mail someone you wished you hadn't. you'd pile your glorious mane of golden hair up on your head, just so, and in the morning it would make a swell bedheady 80s sideponytailbun of awesomeness.

How would YOU pass out?

Quote of the day: poetry versus prose.

"A poem, I feel, is a lot like a chapel, those small devotional rooms in Catholic churches where one is invited to sit by one’s self, meditate, light a candle, and be in devout stillness for a while. An essay, on the other hand, feels more like the cathedral itself — so much of it depends upon complex architecture, air, space, and the way light illuminates all of these aspects."

--Emma Bolden, A Century of Nerve

My advisor makes Out Magazine's Top 100 for 2008.

Congratulations, Rigoberto. You're top wordsmith to me, too!

Monday, November 10, 2008

Quick, irritated commentary from a writer/editor.

Pundits and commentators of the world: Please cease and desist in deeming Barack Obama's presence, speeches, and actions "presidential." Now that he is President Elect, it sort of comes with the territory. Go buy a thesaurus, why don't you.

Quote of the day: How wide the world and how weird.

This is a quote from a film review I just finished editing for the March 2009 issue:
"It’s weird when an almost 80-year-old reindeer herder has such an influence on a young rock star/journalist.”
--Calmmis Calbmái (From an Eye to an Eye [2007]), directed by Per-Josef Idivuoma.

I'm going to have to go ahead and agree: that's pretty weird. And awesome. What do you think that music sounds like, and what shape does that journalism take?

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Quote of the day: No longer a "racist, blood-thirsty America."

“If you’re a hard-liner in Tehran, a U.S. president who wants to talk to you presents more of a quandary than a U.S. president who wants to confront you,” remarked Karim Sadjadpour, an Iran expert at the Carnegie Endowment. “How are you going to implore crowds to chant ‘Death to Barack Hussein Obama’? That
sounds more like the chant of the oppressor, not the victim. Obama just doesn’t fit the radical Islamist narrative of a racist, blood-thirsty America, which is bent on oppressing Muslims worldwide. There’s a cognitive dissonance. It’s like Hollywood casting Sidney Poitier to play Charles Manson. It just doesn’t fit.”
--"OP-ED: Show Me the Money," by Thomas L. Friedman, New York Times, November 9, 2008

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Who says you can't learn from trashy romance novels?

When playing FreeRice today, I totally wouldn't have gotten the following question right if not for reading historical smut set in Scotland:


bairn means:


child

escort

deal

harm

Friday, November 7, 2008

Sign the petition: REPEAL PROP 8.

Go here to sign the petition. It will take under a minute, and prop 8 is a stupid stupid emendation to the state constitution that deserves to go up in smoke. Thanks!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Roundup of my favorite bloggy reactions to PRESIDENT OBAMA.

First of all? Just !!!! for getting to keep writing that. In fact, let me get it out of my system for a minute:

PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA RESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESIDENT OBAMA

Thanks for sticking around through that. Without further ado, then:

* The Famous Chronicles: GOBAMA
totally rad quote: "None of our problems went away last night, but it finally seemed like we might be able to do something about them."

* Sidewalk Monkey: Thoughts on Proposition 8
totally rad quote: "I am seeing that complacency no longer has a place in our country's politics, that I can't throw my hands up and start planning move to Canada anymore. After the last presidential election, I really felt ready to leave; this time--maybe because of the hope I feel from the right candidate winning--I feel that it is my job to stay here and stay in the fight to make this country a place in which I am proud to live."

* The Indulgence of Self: Change
totally rad quote: "Keep in mind, he has inherited and country in the throes of crisis. We cannot expect him to fix it in one year, or even in four. But give him time, we gave Bush eight long years and the thing missing in all that time, from beginning to end, was the one thing that the Obama campaign started on: Hope."

* Oh the Joys of Being a Woman Playwright: Obamania
totally rad quote: "As a person of mixed-race heritage, I am constantly reminded that I am different. Society won’t let me forget. I don’t fit into one check box or category and it’s sort of always been accepted/understood that I will never be a part of the mainstream. ... So you know. To see the 'mainstream' nominate a man of such intelligence, grace and diplomacy who looks 'like me' - - well it’s an event of historic 'good cry' proportions."

* Roman Rimer: come together now
totally rad quote: "we’re all here to be what the world needs. the world wouldn’t be without each and every one of us. and i think what we all have to offer it is a lot more than what we’ve been giving it."

* Racialicious: Good, and Now Back to Work: Avoiding Both Cynicism and Overconfidence in the Age of Obama
Totally rad quote: "The worst thing that could happen now would be for us to go back to sleep; to allow the cool poise of Obama’s prose to lull us into slumber like the cool on the underside of the pillow. For in the light of day, when fully awake, it becomes impossible not to see the incompleteness of the task so far. So let us begin."

* Quarter Life Crisis: This is what it feels like
Totally rad quote: "This is what it feels like to be not so terrified to be bringing a baby into this world.This is what it feels like to know that our son will never know a time when it seemed unfathomable that a black man could be president.This is what it feels like to have tangible hope in humanity."

* The Milkman's Daughter: YAAAAAAAY!!!
Totally rad quote: "When I went outside to get my lunch, I just wanted to start shaking people, screaming, 'President Obama! President Obama!' That would be wildly inappropriate, and VERY un-Thai, but I just want to wrap America up in a big, cozy blanket and give it a huge kiss on the forehead."

* How To Party with an Infant: Who Will I Make Fun of Now?
Totally rad quote: "'He went to our high school,'" one of our friends said. Someone had to say it. 'They better not raise tuition.'"

* Astrobarry: How I Felt the Day After
Totally rad quote: "I sincerely hope that if any individual Prop 8 supporter were to have met me face-to-face, human-to-human, while I sobbed uncontrollably in the harsh acknowledgment that my homeland's residents have voted against respecting me for who I am… well, I sure hope they'd be able to meet me heart to heart, too, with the understanding that their triumph casts a dark shadow over my future. We don't have to agree in order to feel for each other. Better yet, I hope they'd see their grandchildren's dreams in my eyes. After all, you never know who in your family will be born gay. They are us, and they are also you."

* Free Will Astrology: Beauty & Truth Hit the Mainstream
Totally rad quote: "Before the last U.S. presidential election back in 2004, What Is Enlightenment? magazine posed the following query to five religious leaders: 'Many people argue that the upcoming presidential election is the most important in our lifetime. Do you agree?' Four of the respondents said, in effect, 'Yes, because George Bush is bad for America and the world.' But the fifth religious leader, Zen Buddhist Jan Chozen Roshi, replied, 'I don't know. Our existence is so short, it's like a dust mote in the eye of God. To say that the time in which my dust mote existed was the most important is a self-centered view.'"

So writes my wife, and it is true.

GOBAMA

The most beautiful thing about last night’s victory was that, despite all of the crises we are experiencing, everyone drop-kicked their apathy, depression, and persistent worry-frown, and just celebrated. I have never, ever seen New Yorkers that happy. We high-fived everyone we passed, shut down streets, danced on top of cabs, hugged strangers, and every 30 seconds let out another “Woo Hoo!” Everyone, and I mean everyone, was smiling.

None of our problems went away last night, but it finally seemed like we might be able to do something about them.

This is EXACTLY how it was all over the city, and in Brooklyn, too! WOOOOO HOOOOOO! I still can't stop smiling and wearing Obama gear. I need to get me some new Obama wear, though. And I really think Nahe can have this shirt now.

First Lady's first dress.


I find myself agreeing with the voter quoted in the New York Times who said: “I voted for Obama, but I didn’t vote for that dress.”

Evidently, the dress is an adaptation of the Narciso Rodriguez design above, which premiered on a New York runway earlier this fall.

Hate to say it, but the original was better. Michelle, you're hot! You could have worn the "more revealing" version, which, might I add, was not that revealing! You want to see revealing, celebrate Halloween in New York.


Top Dawg.

President Obama--oh, how I love writing those two words together!--is off to a great start as Incoming Commander-in-Chief. One of his first moves transitioning into office is already a wise one. Instead of getting a puppy from a breeder, he and his family have chosen to adopt from a rescue shelter.* WAY TO GO, MR. PRESIDENT! Maybe this will bring shine more light on all the important reasons for families to adopt from a shelter instead of paying the buku bucks to breeders!

I wish godspeed and good luck to the new First Family with the puppy training, though. As Lisa Peterson, a spokeswoman for the American Kennel Club, in an article in the New York Times put it:
“It’s not true that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” she said. “But there’s a window of up to 16 weeks of age for a puppy, when they are most impressionable and retain their training. Rules have to be established for a dog, like, no you can’t jump on the sofa in the Lincoln bedroom.”

Fact of the matter is, training is training; it takes time, money, and oh LORD, does it require PATIENCE.
---
* For a snarkier version of the same story, see Wonkette's "Obamas Will Adopt Precious Rescue Puppy, Destroy American Businesses"

What the fuck, Arizona, California, and Florida?!

Especially you, California. I expected better from you, somehow.

Of Tuesday's close--the victory and the defeat--the New York Times reports:
"Julius Turman, a chairman of the Alice B. Toklas L.G.B.T. Democratic Club, a gay political group here, said he called his mother in tears when Mr. Obama won the presidency, only to be crying over the same-sex marriage vote in a different way not much later.

'It is the definition of bittersweet,' Mr. Turman said. 'As an African-American, I rejoiced in the symbolism of yesterday. As a gay man, I thought, How can this be happening?'"

Yes. Tuesday in a word? Bittersweet.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The mystery of the muttyness continues.


What the heck is Nahe anyway? We can't figure her out. The ASPCA behaviorists opined that she was chihuahua-beagle. We've heard Jack Russell Terrier mixed with all kinds of breeds, including, again, chihuahuas, beagles, and even a Whippet (which I seriously doubt).

Here's our newest projection: part-smooth fox terrier. Take a look at the pictures (scroll down below the description): What do you think?? Maybe even a Foxy Russell, a Fox Terrier-Jack Russell Terrier mix (a great name for a breed, better name for a Bond babe)?

That or else she's a Minibunn Terrier. Fer sure.

On hope and caution in a post-Obamahasactuallywontheelection world.

"Good, and Now Back to Work: Avoiding Both Cynicism and Overconfidence in the Age of Obama" by guest contributor Tim Wise, REPOSTED IN FULL from Racialicious, November 5, 2008 because this article was ridiculously good and my neck hurts from nodding too hard agreeing with every damn thing he said ...

Tonight, after Barack Obama was confirmed as the nation’s president-elect, I looked in on my children, as they lay sleeping. Though they are about as politically astute as kids can be, having reached only the ages of 7 and 5, there is no way they will be able to truly appreciate what has just happened in the land they call home. They do not possess the sense of history, or indeed, even a clear understanding of what history means, so as to adequately process what happened this evening, as they slumbered. Even as our oldest cast her first grade vote for Obama in school today, and even as our youngest has become somewhat notorious for pointing to pictures of Sarah Palin on magazines and saying, “There’s that crazy lady who hates polar bears,” they remain, still, naive as to the nation they have inherited. They do not really understand the tortured history of this place, especially as regards race. Oh they know more than most–to live as my children makes it hard not to–but still, the magnitude of this occasion will likely not catch up to them until Barack Obama is finishing at least his first, if not his second term as president.

But that’s OK. Because I know what it means, and will make sure to tell them.

And before detailing what I perceive that meaning to be (both its expansiveness and limitations) let me say this, to some of those on the left–some of my friends and longtime compatriots in the struggle for social justice–who yet insist that there is no difference between Obama and McCain, between Democrats and Republicans, between Biden and Palin: Screw you.

If you are incapable of mustering pride in this moment, and if you cannot appreciate how meaningful this day is for millions of black folks who stood in lines for up to seven hours to vote, then your cynicism has become such an encumbrance as to render you all but useless to the liberation movement. Indeed, those who cannot appreciate what has just transpired are so eaten up with nihilistic rage and hopelessness that I cannot but think that they are a waste of carbon, and actively thieving oxygen that could be put to better use by others.

This election does indeed matter. No, it is not the same as victory against the forces of injustice, and yes, Obama is a heavily compromised candidate, and yes, we will have to work hard to hold him accountable. But it matters nonetheless that he, and not the bloodthirsty bomber McCain, or the Christo-fascist, Palin, managed to emerge victorious.

Those who say it doesn’t matter weren’t with me on the south side of Chicago this past week, surrounded by a collection of amazing community organizers who go out and do the hard work every day of trying to help create a way out of no way for the marginalized. All of them know that an election is but a part of the solution, a tactic really, in a larger struggle of which they are a daily part; and none of them are so naive as to think that their jobs are now to become a cakewalk because of the election of Barack Obama. But all of them were looking forward to this moment. They haven’t the luxury of believing in the quixotic campaigns of Dennis Kucinich, or waiting around for the Green Party to get its act together and become something other than a pathetic caricature, symbolized by the utterly irrelevant and increasingly narcissistic presence of Ralph Nader on the electoral scene. And while Cynthia McKinney remains a pivotal figure in the struggle, the party to which she was tethered this year shows no more ability to sustain movement activity than it was eight years ago, and most everyone working in oppressed communities in this nation knows it.

It’s like this y’all: Jesse Jackson was weeping openly on national television. This is a man who was with Dr. King when he was murdered and he was bawling like a baby. So don’t tell me this doesn’t matter.

John Lewis–who had his head cracked open, has been arrested more times, and has probably spilled far more blood for the cause of justice than all the white, dreadlocked, self-proclaimed anarchists in this country combined–couldn’t be more thrilled at what has happened. If he can see it, then frankly, who the hell are we not to?

Those who say this election means nothing, who insist that Obama, because he cozied up to Wall Street, or big business, is just another kind of evil no different than any other, are in serious risk of political self-immolation, and it is a burning they will richly deserve. That the victorious presidential candidate is actually a capitalist (contrary to the fevered imaginations of the right) is no more newsworthy than the fact that rain falls down and grass grows skyward. It is to be properly placed in the “no shit Sherlock,” file. That anyone would think it possible for someone who didn’t raise hundreds of millions of dollars to win–at this time in our history at least–only suggests that some on the left would prefer to engage politics from a place of aspirational innocence, rather than in the real world, where battles are won or lost.

So let us be clear as to what tonight meant:

It was a defeat for the right-wing echo chamber and its rhetorical stormtroopers, foremost among them Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck.

It was a defeat for the crazed mobs ever-present at McCain/Palin rallies, what with their venomous libels against Obama, their hate-addled brains spewing forth one after another racist and religiously chauvinistic calumny upon his head and those of his supporters.

It was a defeat for the internet rumor-pimps who insisted to all they could reach with a functioning e-mail address that Obama was not really a citizen. Or perhaps he was, but he was a Muslim, or perhaps not a Muslim, but probably a black supremacist, or maybe not that either, but surely the anti-christ, and most definitely a baby-killer.

It was a defeat for those who believed McCain and Palin would be delivered the victory by the hand of almighty God, because their theological and eschatological vacuity so regularly gets in the way of their ability to think. As such, it was a setback for the religious fascists in the far-right Christian community whose belief that God is on their side has always made them especially dangerous. Now, having lost, perhaps at least some of these will be forced to ponder what went wrong. If we’re lucky, perhaps some will suffer the kind of crisis of faith that often prefaces a complete nervous breakdown. Either way, it’s nice just to ruin their Young-Earth-Creationist-I-Have-an-Angel-on-My-Shoulder day.

It was a defeat for the demagogues who tried in so many ways to push the buttons of white racism–the old-fashioned kind, or what I call Racism 1.0–by using thinly-veiled racialized language throughout the campaign. Appeals to Joe Six-Pack, “values voters,” blue-collar voters, or hockey moms, though never explicitly racialized, were transparent to all but the most obtuse, as were terms like “terrorist” when used to describe Obama. Likewise, the attempt to race-bait the economic crisis by blaming it on loans to poor folks of color through the Community Reinvestment Act, or community activists like the folks at ACORN, failed, and this matters. No, it doesn’t mean that white America has rejected racism. Indeed, I have been quite deliberate for months about pointing out the way that racism 1.0 may be traded in only to be replaced by racism 2.0 (which allows whites to still view most folks of color negatively but carve out exceptions for those few who make us feel comfortable and who we see as “different”). And yet, that tonight was a drubbing for that 1.0 version of racism still matters.

And tonight was a victory for a few things too.

It was a victory for youth, and their social and political sensibilities. It was the young, casting away the politics of their parents and even grandparents, and turning the corner to a new day, perhaps naively, and too optimistic about the road from here, but nonetheless in a way that has historically almost always been good for the country. Much as youth were inspired by a relatively moderate John F. Kennedy (who was, on balance, far less progressive than Obama in many ways), and much as they then formed the frontline troops for so much of the social justice activism of the following fifteen years, so too can such a thing be forseen now. That Kennedy may have been quite restrained in his social justice sensibilities did not matter: the young people whose energy he helped unleash took things in their own direction and outgrew him rather quickly in their progression to the left.

Tonight was also a victory for the possibility of greater cross-racial alliance building. Although Obama failed to win most white votes, and although it is no doubt true that many of the whites who did vote for him nonetheless hold to any number of negative and racist stereotypes about the larger black and brown communities of this nation, it it still the case that black, brown and white worked together in this effort as they have rarely done before. And many whites who worked for Obama, precisely because they got to see, and hear, and feel the racist vitriol still animating far too many of our nation’s people, will now be wiser for the experience when it comes to understanding how much more work remains to be done on the racial justice front. Let us build on that newfound knowledge, and that newfound energy, and create real white allyship with community-based leaders of color as we move forward in the years to come.

But now for the other side of things.

First and foremost, please know that none of these victories will amount to much unless we do that which needs to be done so as to turn a singular event about one man, into a true social movement (which, despite what some claim, it is not yet and has never been).

And so it is back to work. Oh yes, we can savor the moment for a while, for a few days, perhaps a week. But well before inauguration day we will need to be back on the job, in the community, in the streets, where democracy is made, demanding equity and justice in places where it hasn’t been seen in decades, if ever. Because for all the talk of hope and change, there is nothing–absolutely, positively nothing–about real change that is inevitable. And hope, absent real pressure and forward motion to actualize one’s dreams, is sterile and even dangerous. Hope, absent commitment is the enemy of change, capable of translating to a giving away of one’s agency, to a relinquishing of the need to do more than just show up every few years and push a button or pull a lever.

This means hooking up now with the grass roots organizations in the communities where we live, prioritizing their struggles, joining and serving with their constituents, following leaders grounded in the community who are accountable not to Barack Obama, but the people who helped elect him. Let Obama follow, while the people lead, in other words.

For we who are white it means going back into our white spaces and challenging our brothers and sisters, parents, neighbors, colleagues and friends–and ourselves–on the racial biases that still too often permeate their and our lives, and making sure they know that the success of one man of color does not equate to the eradication of systemic racial inequity.

So are we ready for the heavy lifting? This was, after all, merely the warmup exercise, somewhat akin to stretching before a really long run. Or perhaps it was the first lap, but either way, now the baton has been handed to you, to us. We must not, cannot, afford to drop it. There is too much at stake.

The worst thing that could happen now would be for us to go back to sleep; to allow the cool poise of Obama’s prose to lull us into slumber like the cool on the underside of the pillow. For in the light of day, when fully awake, it becomes impossible not to see the incompleteness of the task so far.

So let us begin.

New York Times hires poets to sum up the election.

And here is what John Ashbery, August Kleinzahaler, Joshua Mehigan, Mary Jo Bang, and J. D. McClatchy had to say.

I particularly liked Kleinzahaler's referring to Palin's frozen expression during McCain's concession speech as "Disembodied, like the Cheshire Cat’s smile" and Mehigan's laundry list of the other things he could be doing instead of standing in line to vote ... but "Today my will is the weight of a grain of salt.But then if the wrong one wins it’s not my fault."

Just FYI: Quotes of the days.

There may be several today. I've got my sleeves rolled up and am grasping onto any and all Obama news.

Quote of the day: NYT's Op-Ed-ist, Thomas L. Friedman.

"This moment [Obama's win] was necessary, for despite a century of civil rights legislation, judicial interventions and social activism — despite Brown v. Board of Education, Martin Luther King’s I-have-a-dream crusade and the 1964 Civil Rights Act — the Civil War could never truly be said to have ended until America’s white majority actually elected an African-American as president.

That is what happened Tuesday night and that is why we awake this morning to a different country. The struggle for equal rights is far from over, but we start afresh now from a whole new baseline. Let every child and every citizen and every new immigrant know that from this day forward everything really is possible in America."

--Thomas L. Friedman, "Fininishing Our Work," Op-Eds, New York Times, November 4, 2008.

Quote of the day: The kind of place America is/can be.

“If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.”

--Barack Obama, November 4, 2008, acceptance speech

Sniffle. Ssnnifffllee. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOB.

VICTORY!





UPDATED VIDEO, SINCE THE TWO ABOVE NO LONGER WORK (11/15/08):

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Reposting from The Famous Chronicles: Vote, and then get yer free shit.

Actually reposted from like 50 billion other people but most recently Wife: If you vote, you can get free shit from such fine vendors as Krispy Kreme, Ben & Jerry's, Starbucks, and Toys in Babeland! Just let 'em know you did your civic duty.

I've already enjoyed my participation in the democratic process and free coffee. What have you done today before noon?

Monday, November 3, 2008

One last plug before Election Day.

I'm with Cynematic on this one: Rachel Maddow is wickedsmartfunnydreamy.



I'd much rather picture her as VP or President than Gov. Palin.

Apropos of nothing: from an old writing file.

I need to learn to fight productively with you. I need to learn what battles to pick. And you need to fight me back, instead of rolling over. I learn more from you in how you sink your teeth into me than I do from you saying I’m right all the time.

Even though I am.

Who was this even about? I don't know, I don't care, I find it hilarious.

David Sedaris on the Undecideds: Quote of the day.

"To put them* in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. 'Can I interest you in the chicken?' she asks. 'Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?'

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

I mean, really, what's to be confused about?"

--David Sedaris, "Shouts & Murmurs: Undecided," in the New Yorker, October 27, 2008:43-44.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Why I so enjoy NaBloPoMo.

Not so much because it's hard for me (way too verbose me) to come up with something to say everyday but because all of my favorite bloggers (well, those who participate, anyway) have to do so, too. That means a lot of procrastination material for yours truly. AWESOME.

Last days of Coney: September's daytrip.

Check out the rest of the set at our Flickr.

More quotes from "Red Sex, Blue Sex."

Seriously, I want to retype the whole damn article. That was a very good read--or, as we say in anthropology, it was "good to think with." You should read it if you live in a red or blue state, if you're interested in religion or sex or politics. But, for now, just a few more long quotes . . .
"As the Reverend Rick Marks, a Southern Baptist minister, recently pointed out in a Florida newspaper, 'Evangelicals are fighting gay marriage, saying it will break down traditional marriage, when divorce has already broken it down.' Conservatives may need to start talking as much about saving marriages as they do about, say, saving oneself for marriage'" (68, emphasis added).

WORD.
"'Having to wait until age twenty-five or thirty to have sex is
unreasonable'" (68).

'NUFF SAID.
"The savvy young Christian writer Lauren Winner, in her book 'Real Sex: The Naked Truth about Chastity,' writes, 'Rather than spending our unmarried years stewarding and disciplining our desires, we have become ashamed of them. We persuade ourselves that the desires themselves are horrible. This can have real consequences if we get married.' Teenagers and single adults are 'told over and over not to have sex, but no one ever encourages' them 'to be bodily or sensual in some appropriate way'--getting to know and appreciate what their bodies can do through sports, especially for girls, or even thinking sensually about something like food. Winner goes on, 'This doesn't mean, of course, that if only the church sponsored more softball leagues, everyone would stay on the chaste straight and narrow. But it does mean that the church ought to cultivate ways of teaching Christians to live in their bodies well--so that unmarried folks can still be bodily people, even though they're not having sex, and so that married people can give themselves to sex [ed. presumably within the marriage!] freely" (68-69).

NOTA BENE: This is officially the first time I've read anything about abstinence education that made any sense to me at all.

(All quotes from "Dept. of Disputation: Red Sex, Blue Sex--Why do so many evangelical teenagers become pregnant?", The New Yorker, November 3, 2008:64-69.)

What it looked like: October's cranberry-cheddar-bacon omelette.

Finally, some food porn, per Surfrunner's request:


(I've got to get better at downloading pictures off my camera in a more timely fashion! This reposting of a past post is retarded.)

"Red Sex, Blue Sex": Quote of the day.

"The paradigmatic red-state couple enters marriage not long after the woman becomes sexually active, has two children by her mid-twenties, and reaches the critical period of marriage at the high point in the life cycle for risk-taking and experimenting. The paradigmatic blue-state couple is more likely to experiment with multiple partners, postpone marriage until after they reach emotional and financial security, and have their children (if they have them at all) as their lives are stabilizing." (p. 67)
--Naomi Cahn and June Carbone, as quoted in "Dept. of Disputation: Red Sex, Blue Sex--Why do so many evangelical teenagers become pregnant?", The New Yorker, November 3, 2008:64-69.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Keeping the choking dog at Hillside Park in my thoughts and heart.

Today, at Hillside (dog) Park, something horrible happened.

It was a beautiful fall day, clear skies, sunshine, all the dog owners only lightly bundled up, dogs of all sizes and colors bounding and playing. Dog owners were casually watching their dogs, talking with each other, throwing and kicking balls for the dogs to retrieve, and so forth. And Miss Nahe was in top form, flirting with everything that moved.

She was passing by a medium-sized brown and black dog, when all of a sudden that dog started baring its* teeth and raising its hackles and making terrible noises. I remember turning to Dave and saying, "What the heck is that dog doing?" When the dog did not stop doing those things, it became clear that the dog was choking on something.

Instantly the whole mood of the dog park changed. The female owner of the poor dog rushed over and swept it up in her arms. The dog seemed to be having a seizure, shaking and still making the terrible noises. The woman ran to the exit and laid the dog down, trying to come to its aid, while the man rushed to make a call on his cell phone. Other owners surrounded them and stood watch, everyone instinctively reaching for and comforting their own dogs. I would have done the same, but Nahe was still too busy flirting to deal with me wanting to embrace her out of my own fear and sadness.

Eventually, the woman scooped her dog back up off the ground and ran from the dog park, the man trailing. The dog seemed stiller, and I'm hoping it was because they got whatever it was out of its throat and were hurrying to the vet just to make sure there was no complications. We're not dog park regulars, so we stayed where we were on the hill, not wanting to intrude on these people's painful and private moment. I hugged Dave and buried my face in his jacket; everyone was quiet and solemn; but still there were dogs running and playing and barking.

There were two ways in which this moment deeply impacted my life.

First, life is made of such a strange quality of stuff, it is precious, it is hearty, it is filled with shine and verve, but it is also fragile, and sometimes swiftly fleeting. It is all you can do to give something you love your whole heart and the best care, but as watchful and alert as you can be, there may be a moment where a twig or a poison or a disease or a car or a crazy person can take away what you hold dear and there is nothing you can do about it.

Second, as unbearably sad as this moment was, in retrospect there was something beautiful about being in the middle of New York, witnessing a true moment of community. The mood instantly congealed into solemnity, and the other people instantly cocooned themselves around the afflicted dog and his/her owners, and even some of the other dogs were quiet and standing watch.

All in all, though, it was a horribly sad afternoon. I wish I were religious so I could say I'm keeping that dog and his/her people in my prayers and have it mean something.

---
* I don't usually use "it" to refer to a dog but I can't recall or didn't notice the dog's gender, and it's way too laborious to keep writing his/her, him/her, he/she.

Day one down, twenty-nine more to go: NaBloPoMo, 2008.

I'm back in this year, folks. Last November, I heard about NaBloPoMo from le petit hiboux and signed up to do it. It was the month that made me get serious about blogging, rather than posting five times in one day and then not posting again for the rest of the month. NaBloPoMo made me sit down and think about something interesting I could write about, every single day. It is a great exercise for a writer. It's a great exercise for anyone, really, to have to sit down and sift through what matters to them--enough to put it on the Internet!--on a daily basis. Then there's that I met some awesome bloggers through the site, like Cassie at words taste like peaches and cynematic at Pillowbook.

So. Onto the posting, then!

It's been a leisurely morning. Woke up a leetle hungover from Halloween, due to the fact that I'm a cheap bastard and so frontloaded the partying at home while getting ready with two warmer-up glasses of merlot, accompanied by a bacon-mushroom-A1-mayonnaise cheeseburger from Five Guys, then proceeded to have another three glasses at the bar. Yes. Sad. I know. I can hang myself up on five glasses of wine. This is pathetic. Anyway, we were Vivian Ward and Edward Lewis from Pretty Woman (pictures to follow once I get them off my camera and from Wife). Wife's Halloween party was fun, and she, as Tits Magee, was in top form, along with her merry band of fellow pirates. Dave and I didn't know, oh, three-fourths of the people in the room, but we perked up mightily when our friends E. and M. showed up a few hours into the party as Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox. We made it home by about 1am and walked Nahe--with Dave in charge of the leash since Nahe and I were both weaving down the road at that point and it didn't seem safe to have the drunk leading the puppy. Good times!

It was a late night for me, these days. And it of course made me think of Halloweens past. Halloween 2006, where I was a cowgirl and Wife an "Indian," and we travelled en masse with a large group of friends to bar after bar after bar. Halloween 2005, wherein I was becostumed for parties for four days in a row and by Sunday brunch (the actual Halloween day) I was hungover from too much Halloween. One am either of those years would have been a sorry thing, but now it's a point of pride to have made it that far. And you know, really, I am not embarassed about it; I do not long for staying out the wee hours drinking.

Anyway, back to today ... I woke up around 11am to Nahe snuggling my foot and a missing husband. Dave soon returned, bearing a salted caramel hot chocolate and a schnack from Starbucks, having already been up for two hours, walked Nahe, and started the wash. Let me be painfully clear: marriage is good, really really good. We schnacked, fiddled around on the Internet, and then retrieved the laundry. The sun, a muted yellow bright, poured through the large living room window, lending everything a homey feel. We folded and put away laundry and riled up and cuddled the puppy. She rolled around on some of our newly clean laundry (thanks, dog, no, really) when we didn't put it away fast enough.

I guess what I'm trying to say is nothing really happened and I'm so happy. There are days like these that are just gifts. You can be utterly and completely without a plan, and yet you are so thankful for everything you have: a (n albeit overpriced) roof over your head, sustenance, and an overabundance of love. These are the moments, the feelings, I try to hold onto on the other days that I have more often: the disappointing days, where I feel sluggish and unmotivated, where I feel beat down by our finances or how far I feel we are from our dreams.

It seems rather appropriate to kick off NaBloPoMo with a post about being thankful, seeing as how Thanksgiving is around the corner.

So, thank you, life/God/whomever/whatever: Thank you for the life I am living rightthisminutenow and for all the love I have in my life in all the forms it takes.
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