make up your mind, Universe.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): If you had a few spare minutes or hours, I could regale you with stories about employing myself as a professional astrologer… oh, the clients I've seen (though, I add as a serious aside, I can't really tell you the good stories due to my commitment to client confidentiality)… oh, the uncanniness of it all, engaged in a mystical profession where I can't even explain, in scientifically provable terms, how I do what I do… and oh, the perpetual sweating to author all those words, week in and week out, that end up becoming rubbish once their expiration date passes, and can you imagine having this zen-like time-sensitive challenge to produce work and then dispose of it… and all the while I'm going on and on about what I do, you can't help but wonder, 'What the fuck does any of that have to do with me?' And the answer is: You are absolutely right in your thinking, Taurus, that you shouldn't allow everyone around you to waste your valuable time over their trifling concerns, unsolvable problems, and beds they made that now they must lie in. While they're busy stressing out, you can get a steaming ton of crap accomplished—if you are willing to shut out their constant attempts to interrupt you, gruffly if need be. Whether I really think being a professional astrologer is endlessly fascinating or brutally difficult or any other exaggerated descriptor I can come up, that is an existential line of questioning for me to concern myself with… and for you to dismiss as irrelevant to all that you would like to get through this week. Crank up the tunes on your iPod, or shut your office door. Stop checking your emails more than once or twice a day. Choose productivity over indulging others, and work quietly by yourself.

So. In direct contrast to my horoscope last week, this week I am to ignore people and get my shit done. You hear that, Universe? Anyone with drama should just steer clear of me, because I am to gruffly interrupt you from your expounding.

Then again, I am also supposed to not check my e-mail more than twice a day. Riiiiight. We'll see how well this "productivity week" goes.

Make up your mind, Universe! Am I supposed to talk to people or not?!